My Dad Is (Was) Charlie

You might want to ask Matthew Roberts of California, or his half-sister Rebecca Evans-Bonyadi. Both Matthew and Rebecca—now in their forties—went on a search to discover their real father, and both of them discovered…Charles Manson. That's right: that Charles Manson. 

Matthew Roberts was an adult when he made the discovery that he had been conceived in a San Francisco cult orgy in the 1960s. Rebecca was much younger when she uncovered her lineage.

"When I was in high school, I began to get curious about my background and who my real parents were," Rebecca told a British newspaper in 2011. "But the truth came as a complete shock and at 15, it was very difficult to deal with. I was hurt and confused, and I didn't understand why nobody had ever told me."

From the outside looking in, it's easy to understand why she wasn't told. Who wants to tell a kid that her father is one of the most notorious cult leaders and mass murderers of all time? Or to put it another way, who wants to tell a kid that her dad is a world-class dangerous nut job? It's not the kind of thing that most kids want to reveal during the inevitable "and what does your dad do?" discussions that pop up from time to time. 

"My dad is a cop."

"My dad is a carpenter."

"My dad is a dentist."

"My dad is a murderous looney tune."

See? It makes for really awkward silent pauses. 

Do your genetics matter? Can you inherit your dad's psychotic problems? Matthew Roberts worries about it. "I'm not nuts, but I've got a little bit of it. It's scary and upsetting," Roberts said in a 2009 interview. "If I get really worked up, my eyes get really big, and that's really freaked some people out before."

I can't image what it would be like to wait and watch for Charlie's character traits to show up in your own disposition. Of course, neither Matthew nor Rebecca were raised by Manson, which goes a long way towards offering peace of mind. They haven't learned any of his traits. But they still have to live with the sneaking suspicion that nature is as much a part of our makeup as nurture. Studies of adopted children seem to indicate that genetics are not completely overshadowed.

You don't have to be a descendant of a monster to suffer the effects of bad parentage. Paul struggled with it, even after he'd been adopted into Christ's family. (The adoption motif is Paul's: see Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5.) He wanted to be like his adopted father, but struggled with his inborn nature:

"For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my member. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24)

If you live long enough—say into your adult years—you will suddenly begin to discover personal traits that you didn't realize you were living with. Traits that you don't like. At some point, you discover the ugly darkness that lurks in your own heart. We are told that we are all God's children from a young age, but there are things about God's children that clearly don’t come from God:

– You lie to escape trouble or responsibility. 

– You lose your temper uncontrollably, and find yourself at a loss to explain what triggered such overpowering emotional responses. 

– You find yourself afraid of things that shouldn't frighten really frighten you. 

– You inexplicably hate someone.

– You hate yourself for your addictive behaviors. 

– ________________________________. 

Fill in the blank. Only you know what you've discovered hiding in the darker corners of your soul. And if you haven't discovered it, you will. 

If you don't know of any flaws, you're being willfully blind. "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8) Jesus had to spell it out for the Pharisees. "You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do," He told them. "He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him." (John 8:44)

Ancient Greek tragedies reflect the sad reality of human existence. We are born with high ambition and noble aspirations, but there is a tragic character flaw or misdeed in every one of us that proves to be our downfall. Our hubris, pride, or foolishness get the best of us. 

The good news? With God, the adoption process will be utter and complete. Sinful nature will eventually be eradicated. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." (John 1:12, 13) 

"Who will deliver me from this body of death?" Paul mourned. "I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:25) 

The worst thing you can do is panic and try to fix the problem yourself: you can't change your genetics. If you spend your Christian life trying to repair your soul, your focus is still on you—and that was the condition that led to the sin problem in the first place. It's much better to put your heart in Christ's hands and focus on the things He told you to focus on. There's a world to win, people to help. Take eyes off of self and get out of the way of the Great Physician, who will use the assignment He gave to His church to repair the devastation that sin has inflicted on you. 

Matthew and Rebecca discovered that Charles Manson is their father. You and I have a much worse problem: we have the devil himself for a dad. The good news? You can utterly renounce your citizenship in the kingdom of darkness. You can be utterly emancipated from the father of lies. 

One day soon, you can set foot in a kingdom where the father of lies no longer exists, your struggle will be finished for all time, and no trace of his rebellious DNA will be found in you. In this case, nurture ultimately wins over nature. It doesn't get much better than that!